We’ve finally finished 2024 — and thank God for that. While it may have been a busy year for new video games, I’m ready to never look at one again. All video games are over until further notice. We’ve already posted our best games of 2024 list; what more do you want!? But before we get into 2025, there is one more 2024 gaming reflection we need to do: That’s right, it’s time for the best weird little guys of 2024.
If you’re new here let me break it down for you. This is not a list of the weirdest creatures I’ve found in video games. This is not a list of horrors beyond your mind’s comprehension. This is simply a list of the top 10 characters that fit the criteria for being a “weird little guy” in video games this year. That criteria is a little nebulous. It’s mostly a vibes based thing — one of those “you’ll know it when you see it” sort of deals. A weird little guy does not need to be physically little, but can be. It has to catch you off guard in some interesting way. Something unique about it just screams out “I belong here but I also don’t.” So without further ado, let’s get into it.
10. The Unnamed Salesman — Thank Goodness You’re Here
The Unnamed Salesman is unassuming. At first glance you wouldn’t think anything about the star of Thank Goodness You’re Here. He’s designed to not necessarily attract attention. However, his lemon-shaped head and ability to seemingly cause as much chaos as possible lands him on the last at the No. 10 spot. I normally don’t trust salesmen, and neither should you. I think this man would try to sell me snake oil and then run through the vents in my house letting out all the rats in my walls in some accidental revolution for freedom.
9. Stamp Guy — The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom
Stamp Guy is the best kind of NPC. A memorable pal in The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, he’s hyper fixated on one mundane thing and makes it his whole personality. He is unbothered and uninterested in the politics of Hyrule, the impending doom that is coming for the nation, or anything that doesn’t revolve around stationery. This little freako just wants to keep the stamps coming. No one knows where he goes, where he’s from, or any other fact about him. You might think he’s your best friend, but what happens when the stamps run out? What then? Does he turn on you like some kind of vampire in the night? We love a passionate king, but we also know that making your job your personality is a huge red flag. Can he read? Does he have a skill outside of loving stamps? Is he married to a stamp?
8. Cornservant — Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail
Yes, you read this correctly. The Cornservant from Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail is a sentient ear of corn that wants to feed the hungry and bring joy to others in the form of corn. Its famous quote is “Where there are those in need of sustenance, I will be there.” That’s literally all there is to this corn man. It’s a little freaky but it’s hard not to fall in love with it. Nothing nefarious here, just some kernels of wisdom to listen to. At the end of its questline, it leaves some kernels in your bag that eventually become another sentient ear of corn, proving it can reproduce and take over the world whenever it likes. The Cornservant has the power of a god and should be feared if it ever decides to have a heel turn.
7. Dancing Hand — Persona 3 Reload
The dancing hands in Persona 3 Reload are bizarre. They walk on their fingers like legs and use the other fingers as hands. It’s as creepy as it gets. However, while many of them are trying to kill you, some of them seem more afraid of you than you are of them. There’s not a lot of depth to these freakos, but it’s important they are on the list, because if I was powerful enough in this world I would put them on the FBI watch list or something. We can’t let a whole year go by without truly reckoning with how art should not always imitate life.
6. Manfred — Dragon Age: The Veilguard
Emmerich’s skeleton butler Manfred is the star of the show in Dragon Age: The Veilguard. This weird little bag of bones is exactly what I’m talking about when I say “weird little guy.” He doesn’t carry a lot of weight in the grand scheme of things, but he still captured the hearts of players across the world. Whether you’re playing rock, paper, scissors, listening to him hiss and make other bone-rattling sounds, or wondering what those crystal goggles allow him to see, every moment with this guy is a delight. Is Manfred able to see things us mortals only wish we could? I don’t know, but I wish to have a friend like Manfred in real life: someone who practices active listening and can get me a beer every once and a while.
5. Danzikan — Star Wars Outlaws
I didn’t even know this alien species had a name until I started doing more research for this list. You might not know them as Danzikan but you’ve certainly heard their tunes if you stopped by the cantina on Renpalli Station. This two-headed little alien critter is the lead singer of the band The Wizards are Alright in Star Wars Outlaws. Danzikan makes this list because I’m a sucker for a good Star Wars alien. Next time you’re at the cantina, catch their hit song Dream on Space Pirate.
4. Prawnathan — Another Crab’s Treasure
Have you ever seen a prawn wearing JNCO Jeans? Well, if you play Another Crab’s Treasure you’ll see this slimy little crustacean wrapped in denim. I call him slimy because he runs a prawn shop and also refuses to give the main character back his shell. I get it, capitalism blah blah blah — but come on Prawnathan, you’ve already got cool jeans, you can’t also have my shell as a hat. Prawnathan needs a good butt-kicking and maybe someone to steal his jeans. If I ever see Prawnathan again it’s on sight. Loan Shark or not, he steals from the poor and then sells it back to them for a higher price. Watch your back the next time you’re in my city. I’m just saying, I know a guy.
3. Homo Tenta — Metaphor: ReFantazio
Metaphor: ReFantazio is filled with weird little guys. I haven’t seen a game so stacked with sickos in a long time. The Homo Tenta take the cake though. That’s not because teeth are all inherently weird little guys but because one of these suckers speaks to you. There’s specifically one Homo Tenta in dungeons that gives you gameplay tips and tricks. It’s not hostile and only wants to see you succeed. It’s never explained how or why this guy is on your side, and honestly that makes it more unnerving. I would like my teeth to stay in my mouth and not become sentient and capable of gameplay tutorials. If Metaphor had YouTube, this tooth man would be the king of walkthroughs, FAQs, and sick trick compilation videos. A total SEO hound. Maybe Atlus will keep that in mind for the inevitable social link with the Homo Tenta in a future game.
2. Ben Starr as Jimbo — Balatro
I could have picked any Joker from Balatro and it would have satisfied this category. Honestly, there’s probably a version of this that’s just 10 different Jokers (Merry Andy, Mr. Bones, the one that’s just straight up an egg). Then something magical happened. A trailer for Friends of Jimbo Vol. 3 released at The Game Awards 2024 featuring actor Ben Starr as Jimbo, the main Joker. In this short trailer we see some absolute freako behavior involving a lot of maniacal laughter, a banana, and some serious acting chops from Starr. I have had nightmares every night since the trailer aired. I can no longer play Balatro. My crops are dying. I am unmoisturized and no longer in my lane.
1. Kid G — Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Kid G takes the No. 1 spot and it’s not even close. This Sonic the Hedgehog-looking character was drop-shipped into Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Temu-style. He’s jarring, scary, and the kind of crazy I can get behind. He looks like his entire fit is from googling “streetwear brands 1999” and then also picked up a pair of boxing gloves to accessorize. Kid G lives in these underground bunkers among Cactuars with the sole purpose of safeguarding a piece of metal that belongs to Gilgamesh. Everything about Kid G screams that someone’s child made a piece of art and they had to put it in the game instead of on the stainless steel refrigerator. I don’t know if Kid G will return in the next installment, but if for some reason he does, I can’t wait to impale this little sucker like Sephiroth.
And with that, we’ve come to the end of the best weird little guys of 2024 in video games. I hope you’ve all learned something about yourselves along the way. 2025 is shaping up to have some real freakos in the running, and I look forward to figuring out which ones make next year’s prestigious list. I’m pulling for Cid Meier.
