Is This the Year Everyone Quits Social Media?

Michael Calore: Yep.

Lauren Goode: Yeah.

Michael Calore: What about you, Zoë?

Zoë Schiffer: My total screen time. I actually looked it up before and I think it’s like three hours and 40 minutes on my phone, which honestly seems impressive to me. You’re raising your eyebrows, Mike, why are you doing that? Only a couple minutes of that is actually on social media apps. I feel like I deserve a Medal of Honor.

Michael Calore: You do actually deserve Medal of Honor. I have a timer on my phone that goes off after I’ve been on Instagram for any more than 20 minutes. I hit that timer every single day.

Lauren Goode: This is not a joke. He follows this. I’ve sent Mike memes before and then won’t get a response, and because we work across the newsroom from each other, I’ll literally sometimes go to his desk and, “Did just see that thing I sent you?”

Zoë Schiffer: It’s the thirsty.

Lauren Goode: No, I know. He’ll say, “No, I ran out of time,” and I’m like, “You’re adhering to that? Check the meme.”

Michael Calore: Do you ever think about getting off of the apps?

Lauren Goode: All the time.

Michael Calore: All the time?

Lauren Goode: I fantasize about it at this point. What would it be like to not constantly feel like you have to broadcast something?

Michael Calore: Yeah. What about you, Zoë?

Zoë Schiffer: Honestly, I’m not on them that much, but I’ve been on parental leave for a few months, so the answer is I think about getting off my phone all the time and I’m honestly amazed how much time I can spend on my phone even not using social media apps. What about you?

Michael Calore: I often get the urge to just throw the phone across the room and never look at it again, but then I always end up picking it up and getting back on.

Lauren Goode: That’s usually after I send him some terrible meme.

Michael Calore: Yeah, or I think of a joke.

Lauren Goode: Right.

Michael Calore: Must skeet now. Yeah. Well, today we’re talking about just that: Is it time to get off of social media? And because there are so many kinds of social apps and platforms out there, we’re going to focus on the platforms that we use the most, the text-based social sites, because we’re words people. This is WIRED’s Uncanny Valley, a show about the people, power, and influence of Silicon Valley. I’m Michael Calore, director of consumer tech and culture here at WIRED.